I was never a homesick boy. I left the home at the very age of 11-12, when a boy generally develops some feelings. The feelings towards the mother, the father, the brothers and the sisters. That age is a very desperate time, and I spent the whole time out of home. So, I am close to a guest at my home, and always spent for a few days. When people met me, they usually ask when I am leaving? This is a normal question for me, and I tell them I will be leaving shortly. This was going on for the last 18 years. But suddenly, something has changed in me.
I and Mukta, my wife visited Bangladesh on July 12, and spent close to 2 months at Bangladesh. When I am leaving, I had a very strange feeling. That is a feeling of love, fear, uncertainty, loneliness, and extreme anxiety. Why am I leaving my family here? Why am I going so far? Canada is a very distant place from home; it takes 2 days to travel on air. How will I survive there without these lovely people? I never felt that I love them so much. It was also strange to me? Who am I? Is this a real or normal feeling? Or am I being too silly about this?
One option handle this kind of situation is to console yourself that everything is going to be fine. The parents and the family will do fine, and you will also do fine in Canada. But, it is very hard to grab that strength at first. The feeling has a very strong power that will numb your judgement and practicality. It never happened to me. But once it happened, it is coming back to me after certain interval.
Sometimes, I wonder who can judge this feeling? Can anybody estimate the extent or severity of this feeling? Of course yes, He is Allah. He can understand every of your feeling that you have. He is most compassionate, all knowing. He is who we will return to at the end of the day. So, do not love this world too much. I have to leave it one day. Everybody has to leave this world sooner or later. There is no escape from that leaving.
So, what should I do? I just pray to Allah, "Rabbir Hamhuma kama Rabbayani Sagira". This is the best supplication a child can do for his/her parents. May Allah help/save my parents, and keep them happy. I am away, cannot touch them, cannot see them. But Allah is with them. Allah is with my family. I might be away, but I am with them for every moment.
When I think of going to Bangladesh next time, an unknown fear grabs me that I might be homesick again. But, I have to go and return again and again. May be I should keep a budget for traveling to Bangladesh every year. I could never understand the love, if I did not leave them in the first place.
So, keep experiencing the life events. That is how it goes on!
Anyway, lets keep writing. May be some kids from my generation would read this one day, and they will make supplications for me to the great Almighty, Allah.
OK, that's it. Good night. (Oct 03, 2015)
I and Mukta, my wife visited Bangladesh on July 12, and spent close to 2 months at Bangladesh. When I am leaving, I had a very strange feeling. That is a feeling of love, fear, uncertainty, loneliness, and extreme anxiety. Why am I leaving my family here? Why am I going so far? Canada is a very distant place from home; it takes 2 days to travel on air. How will I survive there without these lovely people? I never felt that I love them so much. It was also strange to me? Who am I? Is this a real or normal feeling? Or am I being too silly about this?
One option handle this kind of situation is to console yourself that everything is going to be fine. The parents and the family will do fine, and you will also do fine in Canada. But, it is very hard to grab that strength at first. The feeling has a very strong power that will numb your judgement and practicality. It never happened to me. But once it happened, it is coming back to me after certain interval.
Sometimes, I wonder who can judge this feeling? Can anybody estimate the extent or severity of this feeling? Of course yes, He is Allah. He can understand every of your feeling that you have. He is most compassionate, all knowing. He is who we will return to at the end of the day. So, do not love this world too much. I have to leave it one day. Everybody has to leave this world sooner or later. There is no escape from that leaving.
So, what should I do? I just pray to Allah, "Rabbir Hamhuma kama Rabbayani Sagira". This is the best supplication a child can do for his/her parents. May Allah help/save my parents, and keep them happy. I am away, cannot touch them, cannot see them. But Allah is with them. Allah is with my family. I might be away, but I am with them for every moment.
When I think of going to Bangladesh next time, an unknown fear grabs me that I might be homesick again. But, I have to go and return again and again. May be I should keep a budget for traveling to Bangladesh every year. I could never understand the love, if I did not leave them in the first place.
So, keep experiencing the life events. That is how it goes on!
Anyway, lets keep writing. May be some kids from my generation would read this one day, and they will make supplications for me to the great Almighty, Allah.
OK, that's it. Good night. (Oct 03, 2015)
