The most hard thing is to discover oneself probably. We can easily identify what other wants from you if you observe a little. But, at this stage of life, I found that I don't know what I really want from others. From my childhood, I was an introvert boy and I actually didn't expect much from others. Most of time, I like to spend my own time with myself...I got an adjective for myself called 'Nerd'. Though I don't have that much technical skills to be nerd which is related to technical jerks to some extent. But, I really found that I don't know what I want.
It may be the causes, I am having jobs and established to some extent at this stage of life and having two jobs with handsome salary in total, but whats next. What am I running for? Why I can't stop? What is the goal of my life? I am working for University (teaching the students) and Company, but what I am doing for myself? Or, does myself not exist or something unrealistic. From the childhood, I found I have targets to fulfill and finally I have succeeded to do that, but why I am not happy?
I generally did not want anything much from anyone, probably I am not confident enough to ask for something. To speak the truth, I feel shame to ask for any favor for me...that's why it is not easy for me to ask out a girl. Why does this hesitation come to me?....am I coward...actually not. Actually, I can't depend on others properly except my family still. Do I depend on myself? of course...! Do I want to be changed? actually I wanna be happy...............I want to know the meaning of this life provided to me by the One who gave others. I want to be happy with all in all respects..
This blog contains very personal matters. Those who read this blog already have known much about me and I guess I could consider you as friends.
Masud.
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